Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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