how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
