That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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