Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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