your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
