GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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