I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
