Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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