I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
