physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
