do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
my poor anus
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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