you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
