She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
