He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
