I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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