I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
