first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
