Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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