I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize