if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
