Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
