I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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