I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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