every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You ruined the universe
Randomize
