oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
