I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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