I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
