used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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