I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
