you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
