OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
