i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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