That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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