Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
