would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize