life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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