In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
