If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
