Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
