please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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