He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
