i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
