so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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