Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
