hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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