I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
