I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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