She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
