You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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