One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
