I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
