But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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