super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
