Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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