in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
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