why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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