If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
