Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
