If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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