I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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