and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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