dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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