don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Randomize
