i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
So much rum. So many feels.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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